Posts Tagged ‘Marriage’

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I was wondering the other day what love means to us and how it transforms itself from one form to another after you tie the knot.

I mean love is entirely different when you are young and carefree but it has different meaning altogether when you become responsible after marriage and starts working

Me and my wife were poles apart when we were dating !!

She used to be the sophisticated  bold, happening, beautiful, topper in her stream and most sought after type

And I,

An average looking, shy, down to earth and just acceptable to society type

We were not matched for each other at all but who can deny fate. It has great powers to bring two unmatched individuals to become one.

I always believed that she was the one made for me but was sure she can never be mine. She was way out of my league but I guess I was in to the league of extraordinary gentleman.

As I wrote fate has its own way we fell in love, she liked my simplicity and I loved her attitude n beautiful heart.

We were madly in love when we dated in our student lives.

For us love meant,

  • Talking for hours
  • Sending hugs, kisses, flowers, cards sms, mails
  • Thinking all sorts of things about each other and smile
  • Explore each other
  • Looking in each other eyes and smile like there is nothing else in the world to make us happy.
  • Singing songs to each other
  • Letting the frustration out of each other after the hard day and become serene
  • Go on dates and explore  restaurants, park and picnic spots all over the city.

Now we are married and things changed. We have a small 2 year old kid in our family. She is taking care of all of us and I am the earning member with very little help at home.

Some time she says you are not the person I loved when we were younger.

I believe I am still the same but circumstances changed. We are both busy and always running around to make a living and taking care of our son.

I feel we are still in love but love has entirely new meanings in our lives.

I feel love is in the air when,

  • U ask me how was my day after a hard day and showers ur love and care on me.
  • Kiss me good night and smile before we sleep
  • Arrange everything for me and remind me always to take care of myself in unique new ways.
  • We always try to find our time and when we get it we  sleep in each other’s arms due to exhaustion
  • We hold hand in hand or lie next to each other and talk about our day
  • We try to find reasons to celebrate and talk about our college day adventures
  • We help each other with the daily chores and sometimes go extra mile to keep each other happy.
  • We play around with our 2 year old, dance on songs and laugh together on stupid things

I think there are more than enough reasons which makes me think I m deeply, madly, passionately and truly in love with you and wanna spend the rest of my life with u.

Each progressing day makes me think how much I love u and care for you but don’t get the time to express myself like I use to do when we were dating.

Life is just awesome with you !!!!

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Husband wife relationship is unique but full of surprises. It has lots of sexy curves but unfortunately some goes downwards.

I am married for five years now and feel I have more or less understood my better half but She gives me shocks after shocks and I keep wondering what’s cooking and coming next.

You can share anything with your wife without even thinking except about other fairer sex.

If you do so by mistake, she will make sure you listen and get in back foot all your life in every arguments.

You can’t even talk about them or can’t see them. The result is always same.

You are screwed.

I have an habit of keeping things out of place like towel,news paper as per my convenience which I guess every normal man has.

First I got instructed for keeping things in place.

Later I was scolded

And Now

I am screwed every time I make this type of mistake.

I am sure after few years I will be hanged such stupid mistakes.

So I live in fear and make sure there is no outburst from my side, so that everything is cool and calm.

Expectations has no boundaries in married life.

Initially I was expected to keep things organised n tidy which I started doing to avoid arguments.

Later she wanted me to do few household chores along with keeping things organised and tidy.

When I started doing both

She said I don’t compliment her these days.

She gets irritated if she has left an empty bottle for me to fill and I don’t do it

Or

I have overlooked a stain somewhere which otherwise she will tell me or will do it on her own

I guess its her mood so I keep my mouth shut and do whatever she says.

Always expects some thing or the other which I don’t get it on my own for obvious reasons and need to be told.

I think its best for man to be calm and cool at these times  and do what she says. Its just few minutes of pain.

Result : Peace at home and mind for a much longer time than you expected. Hours of gain.

Anger has its own place in our lives with different meanings

She can display it anytime with reasons attributed to external factors but I am not allowed to show at all as it hurts her and she feels deep pain in her heart.

Anger towards the kid can be increased or decreased based on her mood or due to our arguments and when I tell her to stop

She keeps getting angry at all sorts of people who are distantly relative to us and when I say why do u care and spoiling your mood.

She says I don’t care for her.

I remember when we started dating I used give her enough time and whatever money I had for her shopping.

There was no home, no car and my expenses were minimal as I was living alone.

Now my salary tripled but major chunk goes to EMI’s and what’s left spent in for household expenses.

She says I am changed after marriage as I don’t have time and enough money for shopping.

I am told to stop her when she thinks of buying anything even slightly expensive by her own self.

I do that all the time

She says you don’t allow me to buy anything.

You have changed.

I am always on my toes to keep my behavior against social limits.

She does take care of our kid very well but expects me to handle few things without saying.
A difficult one as I don’t understand when her mood is off. When is she expecting me to do and what ?

I think the list goes on and doesn’t end till the end of our lives. The problems has no ending but we all try to go on with it.

Life is so simple but we all try to make it complicated and complex. We end up fighting with each other for petty issues

We make some life changing decisions in life, being parent is one of them. Took this decision after two years of our marriage. In these two years we did everything we wanted and went to some of the most beautiful places where a couple should go and spend time together. We were living a dream, a dream which we saw when we were kids.

We knew raising a kid was tough but didn’t know it will change our life forever. Anyway we took the decision and executed it soon. Life was really tough for me as a husband in the 9 months of my wife’s pregnancy.

Economy was in bad shape, prices were touching sky, Inflation was on a mission towards moon and life was really tough in every sense. My economical condition took a plunge downwards with medical bills and my wife’s unusual demands, had to work hard in day at office serving office boss and after office hours it was all home minister’s work. There was no “me” time, no travel, no street food, no late night movies, no getting drunk, no romance but certainly there were enough “YES” which made me feel good and be positive about life.

Somehow these nine months passed and the D Day came. We went to see doctor and she said the very next day we will try for a natural delivery. My better half and me went for a date, had our most liked food on that evening and spent a wonderful time together thinking about the consequences day after.

Next morning I took my wife to the hospital and admitted her. It was a tense time for both of us as my kid was adamant for not coming out and changed positions inside my wife’s tummy. I guess he was comfortable inside and didn’t wanted to come out and it was difficult for doctors to bring my kid out in a natural manner.

After trying for the whole day doctors gave in. They decided to operate after an hour and this was it. I got tensed and called up everybody from my family there. They took my wife to the operation theater and I got tensed again this time and believe me it was intense this time. There was a fear inside me about the probable events that can occur. I prayed to god and continuously wandered here and there near the OT.

After an hour doctor called me inside the OT. I was nervous and tensed, entered inside the door and got the news “Congratulations it’s a Boy” I asked immediately about my wife and found out she was okay. The happiness was beginning to come with a grin over my face . Nurse took me to one side of the OT where I met my baby for the first time.

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Everybody left me there to be with my baby. I messaged my parents waiting outside about the events occurred and went close to the little angel who had just entered in to our world.

I stood there in one corner and couldn’t kept my eyes away from him unable to sink in the happiness which swept all over me. Didn’t believed I was looking at my son. It was a miracle. I was smiling like anything and was continuously looking at my son. He woke up and made small movements with his eyes and hands and I fell in love with him.

Nurses took him to a room where everybody came, wished each other and later my wife came in with lots of pain due to operation. After some time she came in her senses and took our son in her hands and forgot everything. Just smiled and kept smiling. I stayed with her and my son for night and couldn’t slept as my son was getting awake and crying every 2 hours. That was the only time when I felt happy about my son getting up and crying at night.

It was 10-11-10. It was a day to remember and after two years I can still feel the excitement which I had during that time. Its an amazing feeling which only a parent can understand and nobody else. One of the best time of anybody’s life. I love being a father ever-since and loved my little one with all the love I have.

We had heard a lot about Goa and its beaches all my life. I always wanted to visit the place with my girlfriend but she never showed interest. Never had a chance to go there with my college friends even after staying so close to the place. One day myself and my better half were chatting casually about a destination for the holidays coming up and finalized Goa in an instant. It was a quick decision and in no time we were on a flight to Mumbai from Kolkata. It’s like far-east to far-west of India. We took a bus from Mumbai in the evening after spending whole day with my brother in law.

So finally we were on the journey to Goa.

Its located in the west coast of India with an area of 3702 square kilometers. It is divided in to two parts i.e. North Goa and South Goa. The sea line is of Arabian sea and considered to be one of the most beautiful sea line in the world. It has 105 kms of Konkan coast stretching across the state of Goa providing a wide range of choice in beaches to suit everybody’s needs. When it comes to beaches, the visitor is spoilt for choice. North Goa has Sinquerim, Candolim, Calangute, Baga, Anjuna, Vagator, Morjim and Arambol beaches. South Goa has Velsao, Majorda, Betalbatim, Colva, Benaulim, Varca, Cavelossim, Mobor and Betul beaches. The other place you can see in Goa are Arvalem Caves, Rock Cut Caves of Khandepar, Arvalem Waterfalls, Kesarval Spring, Mayem Lake, Rock Art Museum, Aguada Fort, Cabo De Rama Fort, Chapora Fort, Rachol Fort, Reis Magos, Terekhol Fort, Cabo Raj Niwas (Raj Bhavan), Corjuem Fort and the ruins of the Fortress of Colvale.

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It was a 12 hour journey from Mumbai. The bus was a piece of Luxury. We were comfortable after sometime and extremely excited, made some videos of us together in the bus going on a second honeymoon, discussing each other’s experiences as well as expectations. We were provided black polythene in case we like to throw out due to the mountainous road ahead.

We reached around 8 am in the morning at Panjim, Goa. Panjim is the capital city of the Goa State. This part comes under north Goa. It has all facilities there for tourists like us. We choose a place in the center of the city. The reason is ridiculous but simple. We wanted to be among good food joints of the city as we are vegetarians and in Goa it’s difficult to find good vegetarian food near beaches. The non-veg is awesome according to people there.

I mean who does not prefer a hotel near or in the beautiful beaches of Goa and live in the concrete jungle, it was us… we the foodies. Myself and my wife both love Indian food. In fact you can say we live for food not we eat to live. We can sacrifice anything except food. See food came in this and I got emotional and wrote so many lines.

Anyway we had couple bath and we started our day with 2 beaches for the day. One was Donna Paula and the other a beach in South Goa called Kolva. We rented a scooter which is easily available and searched for a good vegetarian joint and found a nice place.

The place was filled with people at 11 am (opening time) and had a great ambiance with exceptional food. We loved it and it was in our itinerary every late morning for the next 4 days. We went to Donna Paula beach and fell in love with the sea. It was a long time for us to be so close to the sea, first time together. The beaches are rocky here and filled with small, colorful shops. Did some shopping and went ahead for clicks. The place had a bad history according to locals. People say that an English Lady committed suicide in the rocks after she failed in love.

We had our lunch there in the sea view hotel but I started my day with beer at 1:30 pm. Took on the streets and went for Kolva Beach. This was a 50 km trip one way and had great landscapes in between. In fact this trip from North Goa to South Goa gave us a lot about Goa and its culture. You will find lots of tourists from all over the world in Goa and due to this the place is more of a cosmopolitan state. My better half was sitting close to me tightly on the back seat and we thought we were in love again. Went on and on and never looked back. Goa is considered to be one of the safest places in India. The roads were good and people were cooperative and helpful for directions. We reached Kolva Beach and were awestruck with the beautiful pristine beach, white sands and peaceful ambiance  We were not in a mood to take a splash as it was four in the evening but did go in to sea for some fun. While returning back I noticed Goa is clean, green and has very low population. There were beautiful colorful homes but no people in the streets. We were lost at some point of time but were unable to find a single person for directions at few places. Somehow we reached our hotel by seven and crashed after some physical exercises.

Second day again we started our day late with good brunch and headed for Kalanghute and Baga beach while covering a Goan fort, old Goa churches and some small beaches. Kalanghute was ok. Spotted a quiet place in at the outskirts of the beach, kept our clothes aside and had lots of masti in the sea. Baga beach was our pick of the beaches as it had great food, beautiful beach with one side a mountain and the other side a sea. In between there is a small river flowing in to the sea. We had sun bath, beer and massage for hours as a result, didn’t wanted to get back to our hotel. Left the place after sunset, completely wet. In the mean time the rain gods went crazy and showered their blessings on us which was an added advantage when you are with your partner. Somehow the mood becomes romantic.

The next day we were clear, we wanted to go to Baga only while covering Vagator and after lunch we reached Baga beach, had a great day there for the rest of the day. We were lost in each others arms and pretty much in love. It was rainy evening and we were few meters inside the sea, remembered our love timelines, ups n downs, and special events. Later got emotional, had a nice evening at a local pub and cafe with rains setting the mood and at last took the best decision of our lives.

We wanted to be parents !!

That night was one of the best night of our lives and most importantly be remembered for various reasons which cannot be written here.

More importantly, we had a great second honeymoon and an awesome trip to be remembered for the rest of our lives. In the bus while returning back we got emotional to each other and talked about how we have made it this far, from childhood friendship to this married life. Things have definitely changed which she always complains after marriage but one thing is sure we are still mad about each other.

Now we want to take our son there as soon as he is ready to explore the nature’s one of the best gift to mankind… the sea and its beautiful beaches…